Ditching the Guilt after a Hard Mom’ing day

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We had a hard day today. Ever been there? When your patience level is low and the kids seem a bit too loud and energetic? Um, if you answered no to this, I am not quite sure we can be friends 😉 But seriously, which Mom hasn’t been there?! I believe that Moms have the most high-capacity job in the world. It does not matter if you are staying home, working part-time or full-time. A Mother is a Mother. And our job is hard!

 

This is probably the time when you expect me to say, the days are long but the years are short. No, I am not that Mom. I am here to tell you that it’s okay to not be okay. You are the best Mom to the little/s that you’ve been entrusted with, and I believe that it is a true calling. We fail, we fall, we breakdown, we mess up, we have bad days. BUT, we have major wins, breakthroughs, many cuddles, and moments where we know that our littles adore us and feel the safest with us. Yes, motherhood is real and raw and absolutely mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting, but we are in it together and it’s okay to have bad days, weeks, months and moments.

 

I had a tough Mom day today. Tantrums, missed naps, a lack of patience and the list goes on. The house is a wreck… and so am I. To top it off, someone in the parking lot thought it was appropriate to write ‘Learn to Park’ with permanent marker on my hired vehicle! Fun times. If you are wondering how awful my parking was, it was not that bad – completely in the lines but a little skew to one side for sure. Who cares? What happened to a note on a piece of paper or perhaps deciding to make use of another parking stall? I digress….

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My day wasn’t ideal and I long for tomorrow. A reset. For now, I shall sip champers and eat chocolate all while binge watching Hart of Dixie or Gilmore Girls on Netflix. I’m skipping the mom guilt right now and being okay with the fact that today I wouldn’t have won the Mom Award. My kids are just fine. More than fine actually. They are loved, and happy, and well-fed (how many snacks can one toddler eat?), and can I repeat that they are SO LOVED. And they know it. What more is expected of us as Mamas? Let’s love our kiddos hard and be okay with having less than glamours days. We’re in this together right? Message a Mama right now and tell her she’s doing a great job just by showing up for her family day in and day out, in the hardest gig in the world.

 

How do we create a culture of ditching that Mom guilt?

  1. Be okay with experiencing real motherhood – the highs and the lows. Not everyone’s life is as beautiful as an Instagram feed. Let’s understand that bad days happen, and we will move forward and get up again. Let’s be honest about our life and be okay that we are sometimes just not okay.
  2. Don’t create unnecessarily high expectations for every outing and adventure. When we realise that some things are just out of our hands and that our kids sometimes feel sad and grumpy (just like us), we take the pressure off.
  3. Stop comparing. Everyone’s life is different. Let’s embrace our uniqueness and our family’s quirkiness or quietness or inside jokes, and get over trying to compete with other Mums who seem to “have it all” on social media. Um, they don’t. No Mother truly has their **** together.
  4. Stop criticizing yourself and the way you choose to “Mom” in the moments and look at the big picture. I see you Mama. I know you’re amazing. You needed to hear that today. You are doing WOW and you should be super proud. I am proud. Of you and of me.
  5. Self care. Buzz word? Maybe. But it’s a great movement that allows us Mamas to do things that we love and makes us feel normal and maybe even a bit in control. Let’s embrace looking after ourselves and doing what we love. We deserve it and then some. We are raising little beings who sometimes present themselves in true animalistic form.

 

Now let’s get out there and keep Mommy’ing hard. You’ve got this girl.

 

Much love,

Mandi

xxx

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